


The Queen, The Merchant and The Prince

by SnakeyElf



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, I gave up at the end, M/M, Multi, No Backstory, Rare Pairing, Why Did I Write This?, actually, enjoy, this is almost crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 13:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnakeyElf/pseuds/SnakeyElf
Summary: Tony Stark and the Avengers are invited to Asgard to discuss a treaty with Lady Death and her CourtTony gets to see his long distance romantic partners, as well as his Lady





	The Queen, The Merchant and The Prince

"Now that you're here, i will fetch Odin." Frigga smiles, gliding out the room, leaving the Avengers, Loki and Hela to take their seats at the triangle table "You may decide where you sit!"

Loki raises his eyebrows "There are obviously names where Odin wishes for us to sit."

Tony shrugs, waiting for the Avengers to be distracted by seeing Thor before rearranging the name tags so that Steve is on the corner closest to the Asgardians and Thor, Clint is next to Steve, Natasha is next to Clint, Wanda is next to Natasha, He's next to Wanda and Bruce is next to the corner pointing to the door

"Let us sit, my friends!" Thor bellows, sitting on the end of the shortest side "My father will be here with the others in but moments!"

Hela sits on the other end of the shortest side and Loki sits beside her, turning his head to the Avengers "Do any of you actually know what this meeting's about?"

There are various negatives, head shakes and shrugs

"Great." Loki sighs, resting his head in his hands "So the _glorious_ Allfather is keeping all of us in the dark."

Odin opens the doors dramatically, striding in with Frigga behind him and a group of people in dark robes, hoods up

"Take your seats." A womans voice comes from the tallest hooded figure "And we will begin."

Just before everyone sits, Wanda quietly asks to swap seats with Natasha, glaring hatefully at Tony. Tony, likewise, asks to swap with Bruce, sighing with releif

The group of dark robed people push their hoods down, revealing multiple different species and faces. The tallest, who seems to be in charge, takes her hood down, revealing a beautiful blue haired woman, her eyes glittering like water.

"I am Odin Allfather, King of Asgard and i wish to make a deal."

Tony can tell that Odin doesn't want the Avengers here, so he keeps quiet, shaking his head when Odin tries to turn the deal in his own favour.

Then Odin suggests that Hela should raise the dead to fight Thanos and Tonys eyes light with anger, glowing slightly with Extremis. He continues to keep quiet but the blue haired woman stands, slamming her hands on the table

"You dare?" Her voice is quiet and smooth, but the bubbling anger behind it makes even Thor flinch "You dare ask my charge, who you abandoned, to force the dead to fight? The dead who are at peace?"

Odin seems to realise he has overstepped and calls for a break. Tony stands, stretches and walks over to Hela and Loki, smirking

"Hey so i'm not the only one who noticed Odin only bringing us mere mortals here to make himself look good?" Tony asks, sitting on the table between Hela and Lokis chairs "Cause none of the deals he asked her to take included us."

Loki nods "I noticed too, as did she."

"I noticed." Hela pulls Tony a bit closer, resting her hand on the inside of his thigh "I'm offended on your behalf, Tony."

"Mistress Death, I must apologise for overstepping," Odin says, bowing slightly to the blue haired woman "I simply wish to defeat the Mad Titan as soon as possible."

Mistress Death nods, moving back to her seat "It matters not, I noticed your attempts to turn our deal in your favour, without fairly compensating my court. And the ones i didn't notice, my Merchant did."

"Your... Merchant?" Odin looks worried, eyes going over the courtiers in dark robes "I didn't know that was a place in your court."

"Ah, he did not enter with me."

Odin turns to glare at Loki, immediatly assuming that it's him "If you'll excuse me."

Loki looks up when he hears Odin walking towards them, batting Helas hand off of Tonys leg "What do you need, Allfather?"

"Loki," Odin growls, ignoring Tony and Hela completely "You did not tell me you where part of her court."

"I'm not."

Hela snorts "IF he was, i would know. And he's not."

"Yeah, if you're talking about her Merchant, take a look at Earth, there was someone people called the Merchant of Death." Tony smirks, watching Loki conjure a newspaper from around the time people called him that "Oh hey, Loki has a newspaper about him!"

Odin snatches it from Loki, seeing the headline and the picture of Tony leaning against a missile

"You're a mortal, you could not possibly be-"

"Anthony," Mistress Death glides over, blue hair shimmering "You're not causing trouble, are you?"

Tony looks shocked, bowing "Of course not, my lady."

Loki barely holds in his laughter and Hela makes no move to even try, her laughter loud in the mostly quiet hall

Frigga sighs, not even sure what she was expecting

**Author's Note:**

> I have no reason for this, i got bored.
> 
> I gave up at the end, it was getting to far into becoming a Multi-Chapter
> 
> Please enjoy.
> 
> Lady Deaths appearance is based of a headcannon that she appears as what people think Death is, unless she makes a conscious effort + my headcannon that Tony sees Death as a necessary, even a beautiful thing, but he still acknowledges it's sad, so she appears to him as a beautiful woman with blue hair and eyes, who looks sad until she doesn't. She favours this form because Tony is one of the only people to see her as something beautiful rather than something scary or ugly, so she wears the form to important places 
> 
> (This is what i prompted myself with: "Literal merchant of death tony, with him/hela and him/loki (Also mistress death petting him like a dog)")


End file.
